I wrote the following as counsel to myself more than decade ago. I had reason to review it again and thought I'd share it...
Have you ever had a friend that made you feel constantly guilty because they claimed you did not call frequently enough or take the initiative to say hello as often as they felt you should? Eventually you probably stopped dealing with that person because all they did was make you feel obligated to them. You may even have felt like telling them: "Get a life!"
By using the above example, we begin to see the difference between a selfish love and a selfless love. A selfish love feels self-pity when others do not respond to our love the way we want them to and at times even goes to the extreme of imposing guilt on others when they don't act like we want/expect them to.
So when we become discouraged over a relationship problem we can consider this: Upon becoming a responsible adult, did we not feel we had the right to choose our friends and terminate relationships? Why then should we make others feel they have any less right to make the same decisions? Why should someone be obligated to us whereas we are not likewise obligated to others in a similar situation?
What viewpoint will aid us in having a positive attitude in our relationships with others? An attitude of selflessness. Selfless love looks to enhance others' lives and by doing so, we may reap the by-product -- mutual and requited affection. If the love is not returned or is deceived, the selfless one, strong of character, has the choice to discontinue the relationship or to attempt an understanding/reconciliation. But Godly love need not dwell on failed relationships. Instead, it carries on attaching itself to other prospects for expressions of love.
Realize that the only absolutely lasting friendship is with God himself. He can not and will not fail us as long as we are faithful. With this relationship as our primary friendship, central focus and benchmark, human relationships become an enhancement to our lives for the present time, a gift from Jehovah, an encouragement from God to help us meet current challenges. So just as when a child receiving a gift from a parent should realize that the gift is not as important as the parent's love, likewise we need recognize that human friends are not the center of our lives -- only Jehovah is.
Yes, imitate Jehovah with generous love but also remember that Jehovah allows even the wicked to pursue their life and this doesn't "ruin God's day." Though Jehovah pointedly condemns wicked acts, he does so as a statement of what his standards are for those that want to be his friend. He does not use guilt as a tactic to discouragingly torment other’s with their shortcomings. He encourages all seekers of truth and right to put forth their personal best.